Actually, I called you an ASSHOLE!......

Hey all, I know I never write anything any more. But thought I should provide an update of sorts. Bear with me, I am not a good storyteller. I tend to leave out important facts that connect the beginning with the end. Anyway....

Saturday night I had my 15 year high school reunion. I was dreading going because, as with most reunions, it's time to show off your acheivements, children, etc, or lack thereof. But I did go. I showed up an hour late. Which gave me about an hour before the band and drowned out most long covnersations. A good time was had by all. I actually saw people I'd wanted to see at my 10 year, but for some reason they hadn't shown back then. I was very happy to leave early and meet up with friends to hit the bars.

So I picked Natalie up and we stopped off at home for a drink. Then we ran off to the bars. Fast forward to about 20 minutes before closing, I'm standing with my back turned talking with friends and all of the sudden I'm startled by a deep voice yelling "MOVE!!" Not "excuse me", not a tap on the shoulder, not even that annoying push-through you'd see in crowded bars, (it wasn't) . Just "MOVE!" So I turned and saw some dude standing right over my shoulder, I get out of his way, and as he passed I called him an asshole, intentionally loud enough that he could hear. So he walks a few more steps to the end of the bar turns back at us and yells FUCK YOU!!. I shook my head in disgust, assumed he was a drunk fuck, and figured that was the end of it. So the bar closes and I'm outside talking to Jason. The dude comes up and Jason jokingly says to him something about "doesn't this dude look straight?" (referring to me).

He says "no, you're the guy that called me a prick"

"Actually I called you an asshole" I said.

Dude starts to get all puffed up as hetero boys tend to do. You know the typical dialogue; "you're a pussy, I'll kick your ass, etc" I said "I don't even know you, why're you messing with me?" I don't remember what he said after that as Jason told his friend to leave me alone, that I was "cool" (whatever that means). I was glad for that, considering I was out with about 8 people but there were none standing there. I kept my trap shut, but once Jason walked me aside, I kinda let him have it since the dude was his friend. I was just drunk enough to be stupid. I said if this is your friend "don't bring him back", basically I went on a tirade about how the dude was straight (so is Jason) and didn't belong in a gay bar unless he was looking for guys.

In hindsight, I don't give a shit who goes to the bar as long as they're not trying to start shit with me, my friends, or anyone else out to have a good time without being hassled. And for some reason the dude was out to hassle someone. If I wanted to put up with that bullshit I'd go to The District or Carriage Haus. In the 10 years I've been out, the only time I've seen fights at gay bars is between former lovers. I think, if you're a straight guy and you're comfortable enough in your masculinity/sexuality to go to a gay bar, then by all means, GO. But if you can't manage to check the macho tough guy bullshit at the door, then you have no business in a gay bar. Shit, I didn't even hit on him. LOL.. Fighting for no reason isn't a butch, masculine, hetero/gay or whatever trait, it's just plain stupid.

So we get to Augie's and there he was with Jason. I ignored the situation the best I could, but my ex cornered me about it and I went off at him too(sorry). He and Natalie confronted the guy and of course he said I started all of it. He probably would have kicked my ass, if I hadn't shut up. Considering I've only thrown one punch (in defense) and only been in like 2 fights in my entire life, experience was not in my favor. :-) But for the first time I kinda felt like I understood what Mike says about bullies. "You stand up for yourself and don't hold back, or you'll get walked on forever" I have no intentions of being a doormat.

Ok, enough of that, I didn't get my ass kicked, I'm not pissed at the dude and I likely won't remember shit the next time I see him. **old age is setting in**

Until next time, take care ya'll

-D



PS. I do want to add here that the guy never said a derrogatory word about gays, fags, homos, or whatever. But to me, thats what his actions were saying. I felt like he was acting that way, thinking no one would stand up to him because we're gay. Maybe that's my issue, maybe his attitude. I suppose we'll never know. I don't hate the straighties. (I promise)

The best way to annoy the neighbors........

That's right I'm annoying the neighbors.

I could think of other things that would probably annoy the neighbors more than what I'm doing Like blasting gay porn at 3am. But that's not what I do. oh who am I kidding, yes I do. Anyway.... the point of this blog is I've made a couple videos. Wait, not porn videos you pervs. I mean I've made a couple videos of me playing my guitar. Two reasons, first I was that bored and second I wanted to hear for myself if I'm improving. Which I'm happy to report I am. Now you may not think so from these videos but keep in mind they are dark and grainy, I wasn't attempting to play a full song, and I wasn't really warmed up.(excuses, pouring in) I was just dinking around like I usually do. Turn up the volume and:

Watch the FIRST VIDEO, just some bluesy solo/riffing.

If you haven't sworn off hearing another guitar in your life. then ......

Watch the SECOND VIDEO , I attempted some song "parts" First it's the intro to Enter Sandman by Metallica, followed by some of my own riffy power cords. Then I have the intro & up to the solo (sorta) of Crazy Dream by Los Lonely Boys.

Tell me what ya think. I'm not a pro obviously and I've never taken any lessons. All self taught playing by ear and tabs. I won't admit how long I've actually been playing because I should be able to play much better than I do..

Sorry, I couldn't get the youtube.com code to actually embed on this blog page. Why don't they make the blog page just like the main profile page? God damn myspace! I actually wrote and lost this blog like 5 times. I finally got smart and used Wordpad to save the text. If anyone knows how to embed a Youtube.com player/code thingy on the blog page, give me a heads up. I've been able to post them in people's pages and my profile page but the blog page is different. I've seen them in other user's blogs but I'm assuming there's more to it than just copying the code.

Thanks for watching/listening.

-D

Go out and buy the new Los Lonely Boys CD "Sacred". It came out today. It's not as good as the first but still better than most music I get a chance to hear.

Wrapped up like a douche......huh????.

See below, for one of my fan letters. I'm still puzzled what I did to the dude. Maybe I didn't approve his friend request. Seriously, am I supposed to approve every douchebag that sends me a friend request? I think I vaguely remember getting a message from him or viewing his profile. But I'm in his ignore bin now. I'm so crushed..

the devil wears prada

Date: Jul 17, 2006 10:53 PM
Subject: fuck u asshole ur going to my ignore bin
Body: fucking bitch whatever shallow asshole

I'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song......

Uh, I know it's a song lyric heading. Witness me, giving a shit whether you like it or not. Anyway... I haven't blogged in a coon's age. And no girls, that's not a racist reference as much as you would like it to be. So much time so little to cover...... huh??? Yeah not much to report, rant, or rave about on this end. I've been going out with co-workers the last couple Wednesdays and it's been a blast. Our office is so uptight and we've been working a lot of overtime so letting off some steam has been the number one goal.

Anyway, I did want to let ya'll know I sang karaoke tonight. I know, who hasn't, right? Well I haven't before tonight. The first one was with my friend Beth, and we sang of course, Beth by Kiss. All I knew was the chorus. :-) Then I sang Sugar We're goin down by Fall Out Boy. I probably sounded like shit because I'm soft spoken and that dude kinda wails. Anyway it was good time. I was out until 2 and have to be up at 7:30am. So that's about all I'm gonna write for now. I am feeling a creative urge though. So expect a flurry of blogs over the weekend. Hopefully.

Oh yeah! I also still haven't visited the Coffee Artist Cafe. I'm such a bad friend :-( Maybe I'll do lunch there on Friday if I don't trek to Iowa City.

Later hobos,

-D

Throw me that bag of doritos, dude!

So I had my little family/reunion country weekend and hmmm, yeah everyone had to proceed in telling me that I'd put on weight or that I was "big" boy! Bitches! Does it cushion the blow to refer to a grown man in his 30's as boy when you're telling him he's a fat ass? But it did get my mind working FINALLY. and I realized........

OMG, I'm like a stoner without the high but definitely the munchies and lethargy. FUCK! All I've done for about the last year is eat like every meal was my last and exercise like Chris Farley sans that eightball. Seriously I think someone is gonna need to order a crane to get my ass off the couch or away from my desk. So like any self respecting fag would do when they realize such a problem exists, I'm planning a course for self improvement. Doesn't the thought of that statement make ya wanna puke? Well it does me because it's such self-help bullshit. The constant affirmation and pep talks ya have to give yourself to stay motivated. UGH..

I went to dinner a few nights ago with my friend Eric. He's finally recovering from being crazy and the world is breathing a sigh of relief. We started talking about careers and goals, etc.... because that's what he always fucking talks about. This bitch has 3 degrees now! Granted they are all for 3 very different types of careers but at least he's set goals and achieved them. He talked about wanting to get into shape and we talked about my fat ass and I discovered that I must have been depressed because I haven't kicked myself in the ass and haven't even really gave a shit about anything or anyone for a long time. I dunno it sounds better than I was just a lazy ass with a bad diet of junk food and huge meals. My apathy has reached new highs? lows? Whatever , I don't even care! j/k I do care which means I must finally be ending my depression. So apparently depression for me means total apathy and binge eating. I'm totally like one of those girls in "Mean Girls" that eats her feelings and I didn't even know. I couldn't tell ya for sure what I was depressed about; life, love, money? All three, who knows. But I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel and I'm so jazzed that summer is here. I'm still forming a plan of action but I'll keep you informed how I'm progressing.

Ok, my 30 minutes of self realization is over. My next blog will be more entertaining or least better to look at. (that's right, I ended that sentence with a preposition) I'll tell ya'll about last weekend. Every last beautiful racist moment.

Yours truly,

-Fatty McFatty

PS. I'm not fishing for compliments, so shove them somewhere else.

It's all fake......but it's long.....

Hey everyone, I know it's been along time with no blog. I haven't had anything all too exciting to write about,not true, Ijust haven't taken time out of my busy schedule of doing nothing to write about what I've been doing.

I met a guy last Tuesday that I've hung out with a few times. :-)His name is Scott, he came here to meet me from Ottawa, not Canada, butIllinois. It'sa little over an hour drive eastof here. We hit it off. On Tuesday we had dinner and just chilled, talked, gotto know each other. I helped him spruce up his myspace page. He's a big JanetJackson freak, one of his 2-3 obviously gay traits.:-) Then on Friday I drove over to his place and we went hiking around Starved Rock State Park.I hadn't been to Starved Rock since I was a kid, but it was mostly how I remembered. I've put together a photodisplay below for your visual entertainment. (cuz I'm gay like that) I tried to be even gayer and make it a photo carousel, butthe myspace bitches won't let me or I'm not smart enough to embed a flashplayer in here. So here are the pics from my daytrip



This is Scott, the fearless guide,





The path we started on



The Rock, Starved that is, Not the wrestler "Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?!?!" ( God, I hate wrestling)



Illinois River with Lock & Dam, taken from Lover's Leap



About a 4 ft water fall near Wildcat Canyon



Another shot of Illinois River from the Wildcat Canyon observation deck.



Large waterfall in Wilcat Canyon



Probably one of the most breaktaking views you'll find in Illinois. We don't have many. Shot from the observation deck around Wildcat Canyon.

The story of why they call the place Starved Rock seemed to be a bit of a myth about Illinois Indians being chased by other tribes to the cliffs overlooking the Illinois River where they ended up starving to death. I'm not kidding, the signs even said they didn't know if the story was true, but they sure as hell sell it. So our running joke all day was that the place was totally fake. Unfortunately we had to cut the day short because he had to work that evening but not before we had a tasty lunch at Duffy's tavern in Utica which was also occupied with motorcycle enthusiasts. I'd call them bikers butone of them had a grandkid in tow and the others were even older. Besides, the scary creatures we once referred to as biker's, no longer exist. Maybe a longer day of hiking will be in store for us in the near future.



Here we areafter a day of hiking. Not pretty, but cozy.

Friday evening I came back to the QC and had a volleyball game. One of my teammates was drunk and annoyed the shit out of me. I guess that's what I get for playing volleyball with a bunch of straight people I don't know. We ended up losing 2 out of the 3 games we played. I don't really care so much about the loss, just don't like big ole sloppy trashy chicks that think that the band Ratt is the shit. (Are they even still a band?) Anyway, I worked 3 days last week, will work 3 days this week and 3 or possibly 2 days the following week. Gotta lovevacation andholidays.

I went clean shaven for Saturday night out with the "girls" It scared me to see the smooth skin so I'm quickly growing back something but not sure what yet. I partied pretty hard, even went to an after party where not one , but two of my ex's were in attendance. Don't worry, there was no hair pulling, cat clawing, or re-living past glory. We were all on our best behavior and thankfully kept our interaction at a minimum. There are parts of the night I don't really remember too well. After hours parties are generally a bad idea but I came out of it unscathed and everyone made it home safely.

This weekend I'm heading out of town to southern IL to visit my Grandparents and do the family/country thing. I'm sure I will probably blog multiple times per day ranting about this that, and the other.


Told ya this would be long,

-D

Love ya like a herpe.

Alright, well I woke up on monday morning and discovered I had the HUGEST! cold sore known to man on my bottom lip. I've been battling this damn thing all week hoping it would be gone by the time the weekend rolled around. Well no such luck. But I have been unfortunate enough to be blessed with a second one on my upper lip just above it. Apparently it's like a Bob Ross painting, it needed a happy little friend. So I'm not in the best of moods. When you can feel your own heart beating in your lips it tends to dampen your spirits. I haven't even kissed anyone in months. FUCK!!

Now, for a total change of topic. ( I mean it)

I've read my ex's blog recently and found a turn toward a lighter mood. I'm glad I haven't been the only one has been remembering good times. I just find it odd how we (everyone) become so mean and vindicitive toward people we once loved so much. No, I'm not talking about him, ok I am, but I'm also talking about me. I was sitting at work on Monday nursing my herpe, and sorta working (or whatever), when memories of happy times with him just popped into my head. It was all triggered because my coworkers and I had ordered Chinese food. I picked up my fortune cookie and without thinking I said aloud, "here's your fortune." This was something my ex always used to say when we had Chinese every Sunday. When he'd crack the cookie it wouldn't be his own fortune, it would be mine. Just a cute tidbit that I remembered. Which of course set off a chain reaction of other sweet quirks I started remembering. Like the way he would never dry off his lower back out of the shower. One time I came up behind him, and in a voice sweet enough to make bitter shitheads wanna vomit I said, "wet-back." Not even realizing what I was saying to my Mexican-Irish boyfriend, until he turned around with a hurt look on his face. LOL! oops. And I remember the funny inside jokes we always had. And how we used to call each other baby. Yeah, it made most people around us sick but we didn't care.

I remember more moments like these because it helps me get over being angry at him for stuff that really doesn't matter any more. Anger at this point is a useless emotion and only serves to poison myself.

We no longer speak. It sucks sometimes, but I understand why it's necessary for both of us.

Break-ups are a bitch,

-D