What does it all mean, really?

On most gay sites(chat rooms,IM's,etc )there's a lot of talk about who is a top, who's a bottom, and who's versatile. I consider myself versatile because I like it all. LOL! For some reason there are people out there that say versatile guys are just "glorified" bottoms. I'm not quite sure why there's a connotation about the versatile label. I'll let guys call me whatever they wanna call me. Bottom/Top, Top/Vers, Vers/Bottom, Bottom. I just don't understand the need to categorize every detail of our sexual proclivities. I mean, isn't it more fun to find out on your own with a guy you think is hot? Rather than just posting every single thing you enjoy. When I run across these profiles it's a kind of a turn off. I want to hook up with someone that's open to the experience and will go with me wherever our cocks lead us. Does this make me old fashioned or on the fence? I'm not bi for christ's sake.

Give it a yank for me,

-D

Lesson 3: Reclaiming your masculinity.

Since we're covering the topic of hair (see previous blog here), I had to type up another lesson on reclaiming masculinity. And I think it will be another photo blog.

This lesson covers the topic of BODY hair. Ok boys I'll just say this once, STOP MOWING THE LAWN!. Ok maybe I'll say it again a little later. But I'm gonna ramble on about it for a bit first.

I had to do a bit of research (yes, I'm that bored) about what started this trend of body hair removal, because, let's face it, body hair removal is an often unpleasant and painful experience (as I'm sure most women will attest) So why did we start doing it? According to The Advocate it started in the 80's and 90's as a way to defy societal perception of gay men's health during the AIDS pandemic. Along with body hair removal was working out and tanning. Those are a separate lessons completely that I'll cover at another time.

Ok, so if you were built, tan, and hairless, you were healthy. We all know that's not true. I can sort of understand the working out and even tanning as far as a "healthy" appearance. But why does this include hair removal? This could have something to do with body builders such as the governor of California. All body builders shave pretty much everything and have even long before the 80's. Hair covers muscle definition. If you're hairless you can see the definition and striation of muscle. OK, but I still don't understand how this translated to guys that had never set foot in a gym. Was it because porn stars were hairless? Most likely. Or maybe it was Calvin Klein's fault. I don't know.

Anyway, I guess it doesn't matter how the trend started but it's 20 years later and I HOPE we're finally starting to reverse this trend. Men are hairy, it's natural. Shoot, even women are hairy. Now I'm not one of those guys that just gets off on hair. It is possible to have too much of a good thing. But I've seen relatively hairless guys remove EVERYTHING. Yes I do mean everything. From my hairy friend Tomek who went to the extreme of having his entire body hair except down there and around back removed by laser. (and you thought shaving burned) to my ex who was part Hispanic and naturally smooth. He would clip his entire body down to a stubble and would then use Nair on the nether regions. He claimed it was to remove body odor which I will address again in another lesson as well.

I know I've rambled on quite enough about this now. So I think it's time to get to those pictures. This time they are not me. (thank god) I looked for a comparison of one guy with and without chest hair and unfortunately couldn't find good pics of just one. So we're have to compare two guys. Which one appears more masculine? This one:





or this one:



To me it's clear but maybe not to everyone. I guess to me nothing says masculinity like a guy with a hairy chest. Agree, disagree? Eh, whatever.

The important thing to remember is keep the manscaping to a minimum. If you have hair that looks good show it off or at least don't be afraid to keep it. Because a lot of people like it :-) Some guys, even if they're wrong (me), equate body hair with masculinity. And if you're still not convinced then do it because straight guys are now trimming and shaving like there's no tomorrow.

You wouldn't want to be a straight guy, would you? I didn't think so,

As I promised, I'll say it again....

STOP MOWING THE LAWN!

-D

No More

No more liar

No more cheater

No more emotionally weak

No more financially dependent

No more whiner

No more sponge

No more child

No more passenger

No more infection

No more manipulation

No more girlie

No more abandonment

You want to be an asshole when I've went out of my way to be kind and respectful of your feelings, then go ahead. These things always have a way of coming back to get you. It's karma baby!!!!



No more scrub

-D

Finally , it's happenin to me right, in front of my face....

No I'm not talking about my love/sex life. Finally I'm writing another blog. I know you missed me. Ok, so you didn't, witness my sincere apathy.

I don't really have a great deal to comment on. Same shit different day. My 2 year old niece is saying my name now, that was good news. I tied one on Saturday night and spent all day Sunday sensitive to light and sound. I had some Harris pizza to dull the pain in my head and vegged out all day, watching Desperate Housewives Season 1. I've discovered I'm a TV on DVD type of person. I can't commit to watching a show each week but I will rent or buy an entire season of a show that I like. This is the first time I've seen DH, (last person on the planet apparently) If God or Satan and whoever could roll John the Gardener and Mike the plumber ,with a past, into one man I'd lock him in a cage and keep him forever. That's me I don't care if they're older, younger, hairy, smooth, white, black, whatever, just bring it on. :-) I swear this isn't a rant about needing or wanting to get laid. Just more incessant rambling. I need to vary my routine. Eventually I'll run out of TV shows and be forced to go work out to cure the sheer boredom I will almost surely experience.



And I'm done.

-D

Tired of getting blamed for other's bullshit

Yeah, that's right. I've been blamed. Fortunately it's for spreading truth so I'm not exactly in a guilty kind of mood. As most do or don't know I've only been single for a short time. While I was with my ex and a short time after, I shared some things with him in confidence about my friends (although I was HARDLY the only person they told). Those details later came to light.

I could sit here and blame my ex. But, for once, I don't. Can someone tell a friend things and expect that they won't share this with their partner? The person they tell everything to? It just seems very unfair that I get full blame for this situation. I can accept my share but damn! I'm sitting here drunk and just kinda pissed off. But I'm going to censor myself from providing too many details so as not to exacerbate an already tense situation. I am the first to admit my shortcomings and am starting to feel either the culmination of them or am being dumped on by malcontents.

No, it's not another song lyric, apparently they're lame.

-D

Lesson 2: Reclaiming your Masculinity

Drop the she-speak. Ok, yeah I know we don't all do this but a lot do. I have friends that answer the phone "hey girl" no matter who's calling. Ok so yeah I say it to one of my friends for kicks to make fun of it. If your friend is in a foul mood, don't ask another friend, "what's her problem?" Or if your friend takes a long time to get ready. Don't say "she's still trying to pull herself together" Stop with the pronoun reversal, it confuses even those in the know sometimes. The real lesson here is, you and your gay male friends are not sisters, aunts, mothers, girlfriends or any other family member for that matter. We were born male and given male names and deserve the correct pronouns. USE THEM!

PS, You will also never be a strong black woman! ( thx Gill)

-D

It's swell with two people.

Ok, so I haven't ranted yet how tough it is being single and gay in this shit town. For once in my life getting laid isn't a problem but I'm over it already. That didn't take long. I've been single since June and have probably turned down or short changed a few guys that expressed interest almost instantly after my break up because I wasn't wanting to be tied down again so soon. So that period ( I said period) didn't last long. So now I'm in that lonely phase that always happens after a break up. I hang with friends as much as I can but it's in the QC and I'm pretty much broke barely paying the bills that area always piling up. Does this sound like a country song yet? No my dog isn't dead and I have no words of inspiration or whatever. So today I was chatting and agreed to meet this guy at Starbucks. He was sort of a pushy type wanted to meet or me to call him. These types annoy the hell out of me, but I'm desperate enough to take a chance that I might actually like him. First impressions aren't everything. Apparently he was astounded that I could carry on a conversation beyond "how big is it?" So just had to meet me. Anywayz. I'll post a blog on how it goes.

I'm a creep.

I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here, I don't belong here.

Wow, who hasn't felt like that at some point in their lives? No this isn't an exercise in self loathing. Am actually just in a self examination mode. Since I went through a break up in June I've been creepin a bit. A string of one night stands has led me back to the same point I was in 2002. Not really caring about my next boyfriend or looking for him. Only caring about the next experience. Now before you start getting all Judge Judy on me, hear me out. Sure I like sex, who doesn't right? But I've always had the sense to step back and realize when I have a potential boyfriend or something more than sex. In one of my encounters this summer I did feel something a bit different than normal but never had the chance to explore it further. Due to my own dumb fault I bailed and didn't call him for a while only to now run into him constantly. Yes I am kicking myself in the ass pretty much daily for making the mistake. And I've tried to regain his attention but am now being more cautious than I ever normally would. Ok this sounds conceited but I've always hooked up and dated guys that have approached me. I've never really pursued someone with vigor. He who hesitates is lost right? Yup. I must be slow on the uptake because I'm just now , at 32, discovering that I'll never get what I want if I don't go after it. In love, in career, etc. omg I have so many cliches running through my head. Carpe Diem, Get busy living or get busy dying, He who hesitates is lost, early bird gets the worm. Etc . I need to go to bed and shut my brain off for a while.

Lesson 1 Reclaim your masculinity.

Some of the gay boys and those metros around this site need a crash course on reclaiming or discovering their masculinity. Lesson .1. Eyebrows, see attached graphic. :-) I'll post more as I think of them.

Girl brow


Boy brow


Any questions check out this link.

http://www.eyebrowz.com/mens/eyebrowstatement.htm

While I wouldn't recommend everything included at this site. It does have some good grooming tips. Just make sure you're viewing the MENS section. And for Pete's sake don't wear makeup. Unless of course you're a drag queen then by all means, wear makeup and lots of it.!