I'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song......

Uh, I know it's a song lyric heading. Witness me, giving a shit whether you like it or not. Anyway... I haven't blogged in a coon's age. And no girls, that's not a racist reference as much as you would like it to be. So much time so little to cover...... huh??? Yeah not much to report, rant, or rave about on this end. I've been going out with co-workers the last couple Wednesdays and it's been a blast. Our office is so uptight and we've been working a lot of overtime so letting off some steam has been the number one goal.

Anyway, I did want to let ya'll know I sang karaoke tonight. I know, who hasn't, right? Well I haven't before tonight. The first one was with my friend Beth, and we sang of course, Beth by Kiss. All I knew was the chorus. :-) Then I sang Sugar We're goin down by Fall Out Boy. I probably sounded like shit because I'm soft spoken and that dude kinda wails. Anyway it was good time. I was out until 2 and have to be up at 7:30am. So that's about all I'm gonna write for now. I am feeling a creative urge though. So expect a flurry of blogs over the weekend. Hopefully.

Oh yeah! I also still haven't visited the Coffee Artist Cafe. I'm such a bad friend :-( Maybe I'll do lunch there on Friday if I don't trek to Iowa City.

Later hobos,

-D

Throw me that bag of doritos, dude!

So I had my little family/reunion country weekend and hmmm, yeah everyone had to proceed in telling me that I'd put on weight or that I was "big" boy! Bitches! Does it cushion the blow to refer to a grown man in his 30's as boy when you're telling him he's a fat ass? But it did get my mind working FINALLY. and I realized........

OMG, I'm like a stoner without the high but definitely the munchies and lethargy. FUCK! All I've done for about the last year is eat like every meal was my last and exercise like Chris Farley sans that eightball. Seriously I think someone is gonna need to order a crane to get my ass off the couch or away from my desk. So like any self respecting fag would do when they realize such a problem exists, I'm planning a course for self improvement. Doesn't the thought of that statement make ya wanna puke? Well it does me because it's such self-help bullshit. The constant affirmation and pep talks ya have to give yourself to stay motivated. UGH..

I went to dinner a few nights ago with my friend Eric. He's finally recovering from being crazy and the world is breathing a sigh of relief. We started talking about careers and goals, etc.... because that's what he always fucking talks about. This bitch has 3 degrees now! Granted they are all for 3 very different types of careers but at least he's set goals and achieved them. He talked about wanting to get into shape and we talked about my fat ass and I discovered that I must have been depressed because I haven't kicked myself in the ass and haven't even really gave a shit about anything or anyone for a long time. I dunno it sounds better than I was just a lazy ass with a bad diet of junk food and huge meals. My apathy has reached new highs? lows? Whatever , I don't even care! j/k I do care which means I must finally be ending my depression. So apparently depression for me means total apathy and binge eating. I'm totally like one of those girls in "Mean Girls" that eats her feelings and I didn't even know. I couldn't tell ya for sure what I was depressed about; life, love, money? All three, who knows. But I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel and I'm so jazzed that summer is here. I'm still forming a plan of action but I'll keep you informed how I'm progressing.

Ok, my 30 minutes of self realization is over. My next blog will be more entertaining or least better to look at. (that's right, I ended that sentence with a preposition) I'll tell ya'll about last weekend. Every last beautiful racist moment.

Yours truly,

-Fatty McFatty

PS. I'm not fishing for compliments, so shove them somewhere else.