It's all fake......but it's long.....

Hey everyone, I know it's been along time with no blog. I haven't had anything all too exciting to write about,not true, Ijust haven't taken time out of my busy schedule of doing nothing to write about what I've been doing.

I met a guy last Tuesday that I've hung out with a few times. :-)His name is Scott, he came here to meet me from Ottawa, not Canada, butIllinois. It'sa little over an hour drive eastof here. We hit it off. On Tuesday we had dinner and just chilled, talked, gotto know each other. I helped him spruce up his myspace page. He's a big JanetJackson freak, one of his 2-3 obviously gay traits.:-) Then on Friday I drove over to his place and we went hiking around Starved Rock State Park.I hadn't been to Starved Rock since I was a kid, but it was mostly how I remembered. I've put together a photodisplay below for your visual entertainment. (cuz I'm gay like that) I tried to be even gayer and make it a photo carousel, butthe myspace bitches won't let me or I'm not smart enough to embed a flashplayer in here. So here are the pics from my daytrip



This is Scott, the fearless guide,





The path we started on



The Rock, Starved that is, Not the wrestler "Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?!?!" ( God, I hate wrestling)



Illinois River with Lock & Dam, taken from Lover's Leap



About a 4 ft water fall near Wildcat Canyon



Another shot of Illinois River from the Wildcat Canyon observation deck.



Large waterfall in Wilcat Canyon



Probably one of the most breaktaking views you'll find in Illinois. We don't have many. Shot from the observation deck around Wildcat Canyon.

The story of why they call the place Starved Rock seemed to be a bit of a myth about Illinois Indians being chased by other tribes to the cliffs overlooking the Illinois River where they ended up starving to death. I'm not kidding, the signs even said they didn't know if the story was true, but they sure as hell sell it. So our running joke all day was that the place was totally fake. Unfortunately we had to cut the day short because he had to work that evening but not before we had a tasty lunch at Duffy's tavern in Utica which was also occupied with motorcycle enthusiasts. I'd call them bikers butone of them had a grandkid in tow and the others were even older. Besides, the scary creatures we once referred to as biker's, no longer exist. Maybe a longer day of hiking will be in store for us in the near future.



Here we areafter a day of hiking. Not pretty, but cozy.

Friday evening I came back to the QC and had a volleyball game. One of my teammates was drunk and annoyed the shit out of me. I guess that's what I get for playing volleyball with a bunch of straight people I don't know. We ended up losing 2 out of the 3 games we played. I don't really care so much about the loss, just don't like big ole sloppy trashy chicks that think that the band Ratt is the shit. (Are they even still a band?) Anyway, I worked 3 days last week, will work 3 days this week and 3 or possibly 2 days the following week. Gotta lovevacation andholidays.

I went clean shaven for Saturday night out with the "girls" It scared me to see the smooth skin so I'm quickly growing back something but not sure what yet. I partied pretty hard, even went to an after party where not one , but two of my ex's were in attendance. Don't worry, there was no hair pulling, cat clawing, or re-living past glory. We were all on our best behavior and thankfully kept our interaction at a minimum. There are parts of the night I don't really remember too well. After hours parties are generally a bad idea but I came out of it unscathed and everyone made it home safely.

This weekend I'm heading out of town to southern IL to visit my Grandparents and do the family/country thing. I'm sure I will probably blog multiple times per day ranting about this that, and the other.


Told ya this would be long,

-D

Love ya like a herpe.

Alright, well I woke up on monday morning and discovered I had the HUGEST! cold sore known to man on my bottom lip. I've been battling this damn thing all week hoping it would be gone by the time the weekend rolled around. Well no such luck. But I have been unfortunate enough to be blessed with a second one on my upper lip just above it. Apparently it's like a Bob Ross painting, it needed a happy little friend. So I'm not in the best of moods. When you can feel your own heart beating in your lips it tends to dampen your spirits. I haven't even kissed anyone in months. FUCK!!

Now, for a total change of topic. ( I mean it)

I've read my ex's blog recently and found a turn toward a lighter mood. I'm glad I haven't been the only one has been remembering good times. I just find it odd how we (everyone) become so mean and vindicitive toward people we once loved so much. No, I'm not talking about him, ok I am, but I'm also talking about me. I was sitting at work on Monday nursing my herpe, and sorta working (or whatever), when memories of happy times with him just popped into my head. It was all triggered because my coworkers and I had ordered Chinese food. I picked up my fortune cookie and without thinking I said aloud, "here's your fortune." This was something my ex always used to say when we had Chinese every Sunday. When he'd crack the cookie it wouldn't be his own fortune, it would be mine. Just a cute tidbit that I remembered. Which of course set off a chain reaction of other sweet quirks I started remembering. Like the way he would never dry off his lower back out of the shower. One time I came up behind him, and in a voice sweet enough to make bitter shitheads wanna vomit I said, "wet-back." Not even realizing what I was saying to my Mexican-Irish boyfriend, until he turned around with a hurt look on his face. LOL! oops. And I remember the funny inside jokes we always had. And how we used to call each other baby. Yeah, it made most people around us sick but we didn't care.

I remember more moments like these because it helps me get over being angry at him for stuff that really doesn't matter any more. Anger at this point is a useless emotion and only serves to poison myself.

We no longer speak. It sucks sometimes, but I understand why it's necessary for both of us.

Break-ups are a bitch,

-D

And the answer is.....

Thought I'd give you all a follow up note from my grooming dilemma.

I've decided to follow Brian's sound advice by keeping the hair on my head, short, of course. And will continue to change my facial hair. Right now I have a small beard started. I call it small because it's partial growth a la George Michael or Don Johnson from the 80's. Not the look I'm going for but what can ya do until it's full grown? Maybe I'll grow it out to insane lengths like ZZ top or Grizzly Adams. Unfortunately my facial hair grows so straight that I would probably look like I'd attached a horses tail to my face.

I guess the beard suits my mood lately. Just kinda feeling like staying undercover still. Of course I'll be out at the bars from time to time. I'm not that antisocial. But I really don't feel like hooking up or dating, or putting up with anyone's bullshit. I have a full plate of my own, i really can't stomach anyone else's right now.

I have a volleyball league starting today. Hopefully I won't sprain my ankle like I did the first night of my last league. And hopefully I'll have the strength to endure my breeder teammates that kinda give me the creeps.

I'm looking forward to going out this weekend with DietPopStar. If she isn't thrown in jail by then. If you don't already, you MUST subscribe to her blog. You will laugh and laugh and laugh......

I'll update with some pictures from my new cameraphone when I feel like it!

Happy Cinco de Mayo bitches!

-D

Breaking the habit.

Wow, what a week of not blogging anything. I've been really really fighting the urge to respond to some bickering going on in my ex's blog. But I've found I have a really really bad habit of overexplaining myself which kind of started the whole mess in the first place. So at this point I don't owe anyone an explanation of any kind. I'll leave it at that.

Thanks for listening.

-D