Is it asking too much????

I would go to a therapist but I don't care enough.

So a long time ago, I'll say around a year or yr & 1/2 ago, I chatted with this guy online. Actually, he started the conversation and I went with it. We seemed to hit it off with some very mild flirtation but mostly just a decent chat about non sexual topics. He happened to be laid up with a broken leg or foot or something. Anyway, he said once he recovered we should get together sometime. Funny how that can mean so many things but for once I took it as, get together for drink/bite to eat and get to know each other. Not that "hey, leave the door open and turn off the lights" kind of meeting. So, I never did meet the guy, because he wasn't online again and we didn't exchange numbers. Then a couple months ago he sends me an IM outta the blue. Said he was going to be moving to Davenport in 6 weeks or so and to keep an eye out for him online, so we could meet once he was settled in. I was cool with that despite not connecting the first time around. So we made sure to add each other email addresses, and yahoo IM's. I chatted with him a few more times over the new 6 weeks and then eventually again once he was moved into Davenport.

We chatted that day just as we had before, I wanted to meet him but didn't want to be pushy. If you know me I'm nowhere near pushy, but still I didn't want to come off that way. So during our conversation I mentioned getting together later or whenever to do a meet and greet. He asked to meet me before. I made clear it wouldn't serious or hardcore. Just a drink, coffee, ice cream or whatever. He was very receptive to the idea but said he was still doing a lot of unpacking and, depending how much he got done, he might have the time to meet. So, I went about my day and about 5 hours later jumped online and sent him a message, because he was online. There was no response. So I figure he must have stepped away, no big deal. I sent him an add request on myspace and said I'd catch him later. But now I've seen him online over the course of several weeks, and any time I've attempted to make conversation (not every time I've seen him online) he just doesn't respond. Not even like, "hey man I'm not actually interested in meeting you." Or even a lame excuse would suffice. But no response pisses me off.

Is it too much to ask or expect a little bit of common courtesy in these situations? I know I have no problems turning down guys because I feel that's more honest than leading them to believe I'm interested. I'm not having pity party. There are always guys interested from one direction or another. Now I can't say I've never opened the door to someone then later changed my mind. But to those I'm not intrested in from the beginning, I always politely say that I'm not interested. A lot of guys have even thanked me for being honest about it. Occasionally it leads to a new chat buddy or a friend that I'll chat up at the bars. It just doesn't feel like I get that kind of honesty in return. Maybe I am interested in immature guys?? Maybe I'm that guy that just can't take a hint??? or maybe they believe I'll question them as to why they're not interested in me. (I so wouldn't bother nor do I really care) I really don't know.

I know blogs are great sounding boards for how much men suck, or women suck, or gay men/lesbians suck etc. But that's so not me to rant on about an entire group of people based on actions of a few. Anyway, you'd probably be surprised how many times this has happened. Like a month ago I sent a guy a message this hook up site. And he didn't even open my message, just deleted it instead. After so many times it starts to eat away at my confidence.

I am not a very aggressive chaser when it comes to dating. My choices tend to be very "low risk." (of rejection) I will usually go after guys that have expressed some inkling of interest in me or it's written all over their face that they're into types that look like me.This is one of my least favorite things about my personality. This cycle probably explains why my relationships tend to drag out into a series of dramatic episodes or one long epic. With me and him holding on for too long. It probably comes back to me just being lazy about dating too. Like everything else in my life. ugh! I'm tired.



If you got this far,



Thanks for listening,



-D