Paralysis.....

I still sleep on the left side of the bed.
And wake up clutching his pillow.
We haven't spoke in seven months.
I convinced myself it was time to let go.
After my birthday, how selfish.

Writing about this brings back memories.
Of turning to him for comfort after my cousin's death.
Of the week long trip to Chicago.
Of sharing the news I would be an uncle.
I really miss him hearing that I'll be an uncle again.

There is at least a daily story that involves him.
Occasionally vague, but often by name.
I told a friend today how much he hated mushrooms.
Never allowing them in spaghetti sauce.
He said they were like tongues, but I love mushrooms.

He'd never pass gas in front of me,
Except in his sleep.
Once, I dried the small of his back
Whispering wet back in his ear.
Completely forgetting the words offensive connotation.

He was rightfully leary of my family.
And I was unfairly protective of them.
He rarely ignored or missed a word I said
Although I often accused him of not listening.
And now I say nothing for fear no one is listening.

I believe he has moved on from the heartache I caused.
I sometimes wonder if I can.

What does it all mean, really?

On most gay sites(chat rooms,IM's,etc )there's a lot of talk about who is a top, who's a bottom, and who's versatile. I consider myself versatile because I like it all. LOL! For some reason there are people out there that say versatile guys are just "glorified" bottoms. I'm not quite sure why there's a connotation about the versatile label. I'll let guys call me whatever they wanna call me. Bottom/Top, Top/Vers, Vers/Bottom, Bottom. I just don't understand the need to categorize every detail of our sexual proclivities. I mean, isn't it more fun to find out on your own with a guy you think is hot? Rather than just posting every single thing you enjoy. When I run across these profiles it's a kind of a turn off. I want to hook up with someone that's open to the experience and will go with me wherever our cocks lead us. Does this make me old fashioned or on the fence? I'm not bi for christ's sake.

Give it a yank for me,

-D

No Mas Republicanos, Por Favor!

Invoke 911

No Surprise, I'm A Sinner

Greed:	High
Gluttony:	High
Wrath:	High
Sloth:	Very High
Envy:	High
Lust:	Very High
Pride:	High

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

I Saw Radiohead In Concert!

I was lucky enough to see Radiohead in concert this summer. The two videos posted below are from the show. I filmed from our lawn seats. We saw them at Verizon Wireless Music Center (formerly Deer Creek Amphiteater) Noblesville, IN (Indianapolis) on 8/3/08. I thought audio turned out better than many other videos I've seen on youtube. Enjoy: 15 Step, and Just(Do It To Yourself)

And I Know Him, But Not Really

I received a random add request on myspace a few weeks ago. The first thing I noticed when I hit the link was "Hot House Exclusive" lettering plastered all over the background. So I figured, ugh, another spam porn ad. But once I opened the pics I realized it was a local guy that I'd chatted with online but never had the nerve to say hello in person. So bad was my shyness that he'd kinda tease me about it after we'd see one another at various places around our midwestern city.


Turns out he got into doing porn after getting "discovered" at IML earlier this year. I suppose it would be wrong to mention his real name. He's now known as Ethan Wolfe, Hot House Exclusive. I shoulda jumped on him or let him pounce on me when I thought there was a chance. LOL..... You can check out his blog here... http://www.ethanwolfexxx.com/

Appea(red) in Explore on Flickr.com